Several months ago my mother and I were talking about how frustrated
we were with our everyday lives. I'm sure a large portion of society
knows just how we feel. We found that we wanted the same things and
decided to make a huge life change.
My story.....I'm a single 36
year old woman with no children. I hate that that defines me, but it is
part of who I am. I went to college and left with a degree in "Applied
Studies with an emphasis in Christian Education". Read -" you aren't
really qualified for anything but here's a piece of paper and your
college loans." I've had some time unemployed, I've worked several
different jobs, none of them paying well. For the last two years I've
worked in childcare. The childcare center I work at has a high number of
difficult children. It's not uncommon for me to be hit or kicked
everyday. I've been bitten, scratched, had dirt thrown in my eyes , I've
had to hold kids who were a danger to others and myself, I've had toys
thrown at my head and I have to deal with foul language from the mouths
of 3-10 year olds daily. This girl is tired. I am completely burned out.
The sympathy I once had for others is, for the most part, gone. I have
nothing left to give. I don't even have enough to take care of myself
properly. I have gained a good 15 - 20 pounds since I started working
here. I have no social life. I come home so exhausted that my introvert
self has to spend the evening alone just so I can recharge enough to get
up and go to work the next day. I have put in my notice that I will be
leave at the end of July. I just can't do it anymore. I love children
and I will probably work with them again someday, but I cannot continue
right now.
"But what are you going to do?" everyone asks. Well, my
mother and I are going to buy an RV ( a very cheap one, I make minimum
wage) and travel. We are going to travel slowly and live in an RV.
"But
what about (fill in the blank)? What about it? We'll deal with it as it
comes, like everything else in life. We don't have all the answers. We
don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I don't want to wake up one day
and wish I had tried this.
"But it's soooo expensive!" It doesn't
have to be. We hope to become experts on boon-docking. We are also
working on finding cheap RV parks to stay at. I've found some where a
months rent is around $300, including full hook up and WiFi. Beats an
apartment!
Most people are excited for us. The thing we usually
hear is "I wish I could do that." Really, anyone can. If you want it bad
enough. I just know that if I don't try it, I'll regret it.
We
are tired of being trapped....being tied to things. We are sick of the
nearly $800 a month rent, the city bill, the power bill, insurance on
two cars, the yard work, all the money we spend on gas and car payments.
And what have we spent that money on? On being able to live month to
month, paycheck to paycheck, to work jobs we don't want to be at anymore (we appreciate
them, are thankful for them, but we are ready for something different) to make money for
others. In some cases to make money for someone else to be able to live
the life we want. To have the freedom to do what we don't have the money
or time to do. We spend money on keeping crap we don't need and rarely
remember that we have, let alone use.
So, we moved out of our
house. We got a 5x10 storage unit to keep the things we absolutely
didn't want to get rid of and are in limbo. My aunt is gracious enough
to let us stay at her beautiful home for a couple months so we can save
some money and get the rig we are going to live in, and then after I am
finished with my job in July, we are gone.
We want to go
everywhere, but we are hoping to start in Oregon somewhere. To start
with, we just want a place to relax. To get well, to rejuvenate. I have
been sick most of the time I have been working in childcare. I spent
this past December through this March almost constantly sick and working
the entire time. There are no sick days. I just want to spend some time
getting well, sleeping, reading all the books I downloaded on my kindle
and have no time or energy to read.
There are so many things I
want to do in this new time in my life. I think I might have some
creativity somewhere in my brain that has been trapped by
responsibility, work and a severe lack of time and energy. I want to
see if I can get it to come out and play. I want to experiment with
watercolors, I want to try embroidery, do some knitting, go for walks,
get some roller skates, get a bike, cook more, write more (I know, my
writing skills are rusty at the moment, sorry). I want to visit new
places and meet new people, I want to take pictures and have time to
talk with people outside of a work setting. I want to wake up and look
forward to my day instead of trying not to cry on my way to work.
I
have shut so much of myself off just so I can get through each day. I
don't like the person I have become/am becoming. There has to be
something better.
Who says I have to live in a brick and stick
house? That I have to wake up at unnatural hours to drive to a job I
don't like just so I can live like society says I'm supposed to live?
Screw society! I'm going to try something different. If I don't like it
I'll try something else.
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