Four More Days

That's all I have left of work. Four more days. Unless something unforeseen happens and I need to work a little longer of course. They like me and they really don't want me to go.

I am so excited for this change. I'm nervous about not having the income, but I'm also excited for new possibilities!

One of the things I'm looking forward to is cooking. For many years now I have tried all manner of diets, with no luck. I would always be hungry and I could never kill the cravings. I may have lost 10 pounds, but I would always gain it back.

Yep, same story as so many others.

Until a month ago. On a Friday night after work I swung through Dairy Queen and picked myself up a large chocolate/peanut butter shake. By the time I got home I could  barely stay awake, I was grumpy and I felt terrible. I went to bed and slept for 11 hours. I never sleep for 11 hours straight. I knew it was because of something I had eaten and I knew something had to change. The next night I watched the movie "The Perfect Human Diet" on Amazon Prime.

 It made sense and I decided to start eating Paleo the next day.  This is what I've been eating:

My diet now includes lots of meat and vegetables, as well as a some fruit and seeds and nuts. I wish I had known about this years ago.

I must have been ready for this change, because cutting out the grains and dairy wasn't difficult for me.  Over the last month I have lost 22 pounds. It has been amazing! I have not felt hungry at every hour, and I have not had cravings! The lack of cravings has been the most amazing thing! I don't think I have ever known what it was like to not have cravings.  My food choices have always been ruled by them.  It is so freeing to be able to plan meals based on what I have in the house and what is on sale at the store rather than deciding what to eat based on what sounds good.

 The only thing I didn't cut out was my morning coffee and creamer. But in the last two weeks, I started noticing that every creamer was tasting gross and chemically to me, so I have had to switch to heavy cream and honey.  I love my  morning coffee.

I really cannot wait to see what the next month brings.

The Ticking of the Clock

Another Sunday morning, another cup of coffee.  I would have written on Saturday but there was an awesome garage sale I had to get to early. I met up with my friend Megan and we spent the day looking for deals.  Who doesn't love a good deal? Crazy people. That's who! My best buy of the day was an item I had been looking for, but finding for no less than $20, used. Yesterday I found it for $1!!! Its an older version, but it doesn't bother me any.

I'll keep my eyes open for a newer folio version, but this will do very nicely for now. I even managed to find this little gem that should fit nicely inside.

If you can't read it, it's a Vest Pocket Webster Dictionary.  Not the be all and end all of dictionaries, but it may be helpful.

The two things I'm still on the hunt for are (and I'm always on the hunt for something) a good picnic basket and a train case. I bought a picnic basket for $1 yesterday that will do until I can find something better that I really like, but by the time I got home I was already not very happy with it.
I'd like to find something like this:

Or this:

So I can bring wine or a thermos along. Or both :)

On another note, A week from Wednesday we will have all the money we'll have to go buy our new home.  It will be cheap. Not like the 20 or 30 thousand some others can afford. We would be happy just to have $5,000.  We have so little money right now that  we are going to have to take what we can get and make the best choice for us based on what is available. We are praying and trusting that God has a plan and has something set aside for us. That He will take care of us as He always has.

Mom and I watched a great documentary last night called "I'm fine thanks".  It's about complacency in our lives. They shared stories of people that have started out so much like mine, but I'm hoping mine will end up more like theirs. The movie discussed how, growing up, we are ingrained to live the "American Dream" which goes something like this..... Graduate from high school, go to and graduate from college, get a good job, get married, start a family, retire and then live your dreams.  But how many does that actually happen for?  What if the American dream isn't my dream? And it isn't. Not anymore. It used to be because that is what I grew up thinking that normal was.  I just wanted to be normal. As I got older I cared less about being normal and just wanted fulfillment.  What happens if your "American Dream" gets derailed? What do you do if the "American Dream" makes you miserable and you get up everyday hating your life and wondering if it would be better to drive off that embankment you pass on the way to work everyday? What do you do then?

Watching this movie I found myself listening to these peoples stories and saying things like "Sounds like me" and  "I've said that", over and over again. It was so good to know that even if the people in my life don't understand, at least somewhere, there are people like me who do understand. 

My last day of work is coming quickly,I have 9 days left, but at the same time it seems like it has taken forever.  I can't wait to be done, but it will be strange not to get up and go to work everyday. The week after I quite I will begin listing items on eBay to sell. I have a couple boxes in storage ready to take pictures of and get posted. I just need to get my postal scale out.

Life will change and I will adjust. Hopefully we can find a better way to live this life.

Sidenote -
Something just occurred to me as I was writing the last line. A thought came to my mind and it went something along the lines of "Does God really want you to be happy, or does God want you to find happiness in Him despite your circumstances? Why wouldn't God want you to go to a crappy, thankless job you despise that makes you depressed and angry? Wouldn't He just want you to trust Him and lean on Him?" That.....that would be my Christian upbringing. The way the church uses words and phrases makes me crazy. So often they are twisted to make you feel guilty.

I can't help but think that such thoughts are from the enemy. Why wouldn't God want us to try to better our lives?  Staying in such a situation is punishing yourself, who says it's from God? Just because something is difficult, doesn't mean God brought it in to our lives or that God wants us to stay there. Go to Him and ask Him what to do! Use the brain He gave you and think for yourself!  If it's a situation where God actively put you (you didn't put yourself), and you know for certain that He wants you there, that's one thing. I cannot even begin to imagine how many things get started "in the name of God/Jesus" that He never asked for. It then makes me wonder how much damage has been incurred, on people and on the kingdom,  because of such things and it breaks my heart if I think on it too long.

I love Jesus, but I think a lot of his followers do too much following of other influential Christians and not enough thinking and/or studying for themselves. But then, that's how I feel about people in general. Too much listening to others and doing what they say, not enough taking in all the information, including their own thoughts, and then acting on those conclusions. Listening to the government about what is healthy and not healthy in reference to diet is a prime example, but that's for another post.

-end rant-

Have a good week all! I plan to start writing more when I'm done with my job and on the road.

Getting Close

The 4th of July has passed and it's been great getting to see my cousins and their little ones. I have 14 days left of work and I am so excited!! I love kids, but I am beyond burned out. I'm ready to see and do new things, even if it means being poor in the process.

Two weeks from this Wednesday we will have pulled together enough money to get something to get us started. It won't be fancy, but we'll be able to head out.

The last few weeks have made me realize that I need to have stuff for a picnic. About a year ago I found this in a box I bought at an auction for $2.50.

This is a Skotch Kooler. This fiberglass insulated cooler was made in the 1950's by designer Petra Cabot.  It's a good size (4 gallon) insulated bucket and I adore it for day trips. It does a great job of keep things cool. I would really love to find the vintage matching 2 gallon Skotch Jug to go with this.

And perhaps a thermos.

I am really growing to love packing up my kooler and heading out to see something different. Just driving and seeing where the day takes us. I like being able to pull over at a park and have everything ready to have a bite to eat. I find it relaxing and refreshing.

There are more things I need to add to my picnic setup though. I would like some dishware, a blanket, a tablecloth..... Somewhere in my boxes I have plastic flatware for two from Rick Steves which includes a wine corkscrew.

It's so handy to have a way to contain dirty flatware.




But most of all, I want to find a great picnic basket.  Hopefully I can find a good one second hand that has a lot of character.

Another week closer

Another week done. Another Saturday morning with coffee in hand. I was so exhausted last night that I went to bed early and slept for 10 hours. Every inch of my body hurts today. I really need to take up yoga.

I can't wait to be done here. To finish up work at my job.  To grab the few books I want from my old classroom (which I should do this next week) and leave on a new adventure. But that isn't today. Today is for things like helping some family move and getting a haircut. Perhaps even a pedicure that I desperately need. Yes, need. I have one about once a year, so chill.

As I drink my coffee I scroll through the sale ads on craigslist for trailers. The ones I find myself falling in love with are the little glampers. Ones like...

Isn't she beautiful! The colors and the windows are amazing!  Or perhaps...

How could you not smile? It's so cheery and lovely.

But the reality is that we will have to start with something like this:

Actually, I'd be thrilled with something like this. I like the layout and the colors. I could totally glamp this up. Most Class C rvs that are in our price range are ugly and the colors range from dingy white to poop brown. Guess that means we'll have our work cut out for us.

As soon as we have our rig, I will start sharing pictures of the transformation of our new home.

But for now I'll relax. Drink my coffee.  Have some breakfast. Begin preparing myself for another grueling week.

You're doing what?! Why?

Several months ago my mother and I were talking about how frustrated we were with our everyday lives. I'm sure a large portion of society knows just how we feel. We found that we wanted the same things and decided to make a huge life change.
My story.....I'm a single 36 year old woman with no children. I hate that that defines me, but it is part of who I am. I went to college and left with a degree in "Applied Studies with an emphasis in Christian Education".  Read -" you aren't really qualified for anything but here's a piece of paper and your college loans." I've had some time unemployed, I've worked several different jobs, none of them paying well. For the last two years I've worked in childcare. The childcare center I work at has a high number of difficult children. It's not uncommon for me to be hit or kicked everyday. I've been bitten, scratched, had dirt thrown in my eyes , I've had to hold kids who were a danger to others and myself, I've had toys thrown at my head and I have to deal with foul language from the mouths of 3-10 year olds daily. This girl is tired. I am completely burned out. The sympathy I once had for others is, for the most part, gone. I have nothing left to give. I don't even have enough to take care of myself properly. I have gained a good 15 - 20 pounds since I started working here. I have no social life. I come home so exhausted that my introvert self has to spend the evening alone just so I can recharge enough to get up and go to work the next day. I have put in my notice that I will be leave at the end of July. I just can't do it anymore. I love children and I will probably work with them again someday, but I cannot continue right now.
"But what are you going to do?" everyone asks. Well, my mother and I are going to buy an RV ( a very cheap one, I make minimum wage) and travel. We are going to travel slowly and live in an RV.
"But what about (fill in the blank)? What about it? We'll deal with it as it comes, like everything else in life. We don't have all the answers. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I don't want to wake up one day and wish I had tried this.
"But it's soooo expensive!" It doesn't have to be. We hope to become experts on boon-docking. We are also working on finding cheap RV parks to stay at. I've found some where a months rent is around $300, including full hook up and WiFi. Beats an apartment!
Most people are excited for us. The thing we usually hear is "I wish I could do that." Really, anyone can. If you want it bad enough. I just know that if I don't try it, I'll regret it.
We are tired of being trapped....being tied to things. We are sick of the nearly $800 a month rent, the city bill, the power bill, insurance on two cars, the yard work, all the money we spend on gas and car payments. And what have we spent that money on? On being able to live month to month, paycheck to paycheck, to work jobs we don't want to be at anymore (we appreciate them, are thankful for them, but we are ready for something different) to make money for others. In some cases to make money for someone else to be able to live the life we want. To have the freedom to do what we don't have the money or time to do. We spend money on keeping crap we don't need and rarely remember that we have, let alone use.
So, we moved out of our house. We got a 5x10 storage unit to keep the things we absolutely didn't want to get rid of and are in limbo. My aunt is gracious enough to let us stay at her beautiful home for a couple months so we can save some money and get the rig we are going to live in, and then after I am finished with my job in July, we are gone.
We want to go everywhere, but we are hoping to start in Oregon somewhere. To start with, we just want a place to relax. To get well, to rejuvenate.  I have been sick most of the time I have been working in childcare. I spent this past December through this March almost constantly sick and working the entire time. There are no sick days. I just want to spend some time getting well, sleeping, reading all the books I downloaded on my kindle and have no time or energy to read.
There are so many things I want to do in this new time in my life.  I think I might have some creativity somewhere in my brain that has been trapped by responsibility, work and  a severe lack of time and energy. I want to see if I can get it to come out and play. I want to experiment with watercolors, I want to try embroidery, do some knitting, go for walks, get some roller skates, get a bike, cook more, write more (I know, my writing skills are rusty at the moment, sorry). I want to visit new places and meet new people, I want to take pictures and have time to talk with people outside of a work setting. I want to wake up and look forward to my day instead of trying not to cry on my way to work.
I have shut so much of myself off just so I can get through each day. I don't like the person I have become/am becoming. There has to be something better.
Who says I have to live in a brick and stick house? That I have  to wake up at unnatural hours to drive to a job I don't like just so I can live like society says I'm supposed to live? Screw society! I'm going to try something different. If I don't like it I'll try something else.

My Exit Strategy

I've been thinking about this for weeks and I am so excited. I was thinking one day of how I really need to find a cheaper place to live so I can actually have money to do things, like actually go somewhere on my vacation or get a car newer than 1989.  Not to mention the whole "I'm sick of my job" thing.  My mom is fed up with the whole living situation too. She doesn't get much from Social Security and last May was laid off from her job of nearly 20 years. We got to talking and started tossing around the idea of living in a campervan. Surprisingly, we were both all for it. It has now evolved to a  travel trailer that is small enough to pull behind her V6 SUV.

We are tired of living paycheck to paycheck in a place we hate being. What is the point??  Who is to say we have to live here, in this situation, until we die? Why shouldn't we change our lives? If we try it and we don't like it, we can always go back to a stick and brick house like everyone else.

Most of the people we have told, and we haven't told too many, are skeptical.  Or, better yet, the nod and smile like they are humoring us. So, we continue to make our plans.  We pack what we want to keep and make trips to the goodwill.  After we get our tax returns back, we will be looking for something we can afford. I am doing tons of research and learning things I never thought I would. 

Mom and I will start out together, but the goal is for us to save enough money to eventually have my own vehicle and trailer. I really really want a little vintage travel trailer like a Shasta or a Scotty. I recently read a great book, Glamping with MaryJane by Mary Jane Butters.

 It made me set my dreams a little higher and think that I could really do this. That I am capable. It is a wonderful book and available in Kindle as well as print. You can buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AB3HUQ8/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Even if you don't want to live in a trailer full time like I do, It's a great read! I could totally see myself living in something like this

Or this

Love the yellow and silver!

I'm off to dream!

Let me out!!

I've never had a clear idea of what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do with my life. The closest I came was wanting to marry and have kids and be a stay at home mom. Well, I am now nearing 36 and those things never happened. I suppose they could still, but it's highly unlikely. Other than that, there has never been anything I have been truly passionate about. There are things I have loved, such as being girly, shoes, dresses, vintage items, reading, writing, swing dancing, singing...... but there hasn't been anything that I am truly passionate about that would make me money.

This lack of passion is a continuing theme in my life. I graduated from University with a degree in Applied Studies with an emphasis in Christian Education. This translates into "I couldn't decide on a major but most of my classes revolved around christian counseling, youth ministry, and theology".  But, at least I have a degree. Or so I'm told.  I also have a large amount of student loans. Yay me.......

The last 10 years have been an absolute roller coaster. I've lived with my mom, had my own apartment, lived with my dad, had my own apartment, tried several different lines of work and internships, been unemployed, went through bankruptcy.... And then a year ago June I was finally hired on at a daycare 30 minutes from my home, that I live in with my mom. Thus begun another round of trying to achieve the American Dream. 

All of my adult life I have dreamed of getting away. I think a lot of people can empathize.  We do what we are "supposed" to. We get up, commute to work at a job most of us don't like, to make money that, in my case and the case of so many others, is barely enough to keep creditors at bay, "food" on the table, a roof over our head and gas in the tank.  And some of us don't even have that.

I get up at 6am every morning to get ready, pack my lunch and drive 30 minutes to a job where I make minimum wage for a position that should earn more.  We are entrusted with children's lives, safety and well being and charged with teaching them all day everyday, and we make minimum wage. The abuse we take sometimes.....I have been hit, kicked, punched, spit on, screamed profanity at, scratched and bit. If I didn't go to the chiropractor on a regular basis, I would not be able to work from the abuse I have received from some of these children.  I work all day to drive another 30 minutes home, run errands, do chores, eat and sleep. Then I have to get up and do again the next day.  This life is a drain on my soul.  I long to write. I long to see places and meet people. I long to have time to find out what I am passionate about. I long to have the chance to meet a special man and fall in love.

Yes, I am fortunate to have a job. Yes, I am fortunate to work M-F. Yes, I am fortunate to have benefits. Yes, I am fortunate to have a car and a home and food on the table. I am aware of these things and I am thankful.

I am thankful, but I cannot keep doing this forever.  I need an exit strategy.....